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There it is again. I muttered to myself, frustrated as I washed my arm. Every morning for five or six days in the fall of 2003, I noticed this rust-colored sticky stuff that appeared in both drips and smears on my left forearm and thigh. I had no idea where it could be coming from.

Finally, on Sunday morning I found the answer. My eyes followed my hand as I wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror. Looking past my fingertips, there it was. To my shock and horror, the rust-colored sticky stuff easily dripped from my left nipple.

In disbelief, I collapsed into my bedroom chair, swirling with a mix of grief and fear. I stared at the blank white wall, feeling vacant, distant, disconnected from what I had just seen in the mirror. All I heard was that loud, penetrating silence that surrounds and encompasses every thought and movement.

I called my doctor and was told that this was not an emergency room issue, but did need immediate attention. It could be cancer or another of many health challenges. Then, I began to wonder, what now? What is next?

After an exam, the breast cancer specialistmade an appointment for that same afternoonto have both a mammogram and an ultrasound.They took two sets of two x rays on each breastand a third x ray of a specific area of myright breast. I realized I could havetwo areas of concern, not just the one.

Next, was the ultrasound. I could see thearea of my breast where they had done theextra mammogram. There was a dark mass whichhad a very different pattern than therest of my breast. After the biopsy, I wasdiagnosed with infiltrating ductile carcinoma,a rare, aggressive, deadly cancer that canquickly metastasize to the bones and lungs.Next is death. I had symptoms of both boneand lung cancer.

The ultrasound of my left breast showed atrail of little beads. Masses unevenly linedup from my underarm to my nipple. This couldnot be good, I thought. These masses wererubbing against several ducts, causing bleedingand discharge. That was the rust-colored stickystuff. My left breast was diagnosed with a rarehyperplastic disease involving multiple ducts.My oncologist felt that I also had cancer inthis breast. She was deeply concerned, andwanted to immediately remove the mass in myright breast and cut off 1/3 or more of my leftbreast. From now on, on medical history forms,I would check the box for cancer.

Even before these diagnoses, I had alreadydecided that I did not want surgery. In my heart,I really did not believe I would live througha surgery, much less the chemotherapyor radiation. I preferred an alternativeapproach. I did have my health insurance to payfor most medical expenses, but it did not coveralternative therapies. Also, I had previous longterm health challenges. I wanted a fix,not just a partial solution. I chose Mye Celltreatments in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and workedwith Dr. Melenie Dunn, NMD in Scottsdale, AZ.Her number is 480.556.6700.I am now cancer-free.

I have the confirmed belief that each oflifes moments hold a purpose and a gift.There are no accidents. Nothing is random.Lifes lessons come hand in hand with theiropportunities. I do not always remember tolive by these beliefs, but I do always comeback to them. I knew that this particularlesson was about trust. It was about myability to trust. It was about my confidence inmyself. My confidence in God. The lesson wasabout realizing, knowing with every breathand every beat of my heart,that I Am Blessed. We All Are.

Doreene Clement, a cancer victor and authorof The 5 Year Journal, is currently writinga new book, Blessed, about her life and hercancer experience.

For more information:http://www.the5yearjournal.com480.423.8095

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